Settling is a very broad and generic term. =) I would say look at the end game. If "settling" makes you happier and a better person, then go for it, just don't do it with any doubts or regrets. If you are going to be in a relationship, then you should put everything into it.
Personally I would rather die single (and happy) than "settle".Why? Because if I "settle" with someone who I have any doubts on whether or not they are right for me, over time those doubts will grow and eventually become cancer like in a sense of poisoning my ability to choose to be happy. I also agree that you will only ever get out of a relationship what you put into it, so if you don't put everything in, it will eventually fall apart, leaving a scattered mess of one or more shattered hearts before the end.
Die single. 1. I wouldn't want to committ my life to someone I really didn't love. I think i would resent them. 2. Its not fair to them, especially if they really do love you.
Die Single. I want to be able to be utterly, completely and irrevocably in love with that person and be able to give my entire heart to them and if I can't do that then I would rather die single then live a life wondering what if. It wouldn't be fair to either person, everyone desirves a chance to find their true love, even if it is in the next life.
Ok, allow me to interpose here. Aren't we all going to settle or die single? There is no perfect person waiting to marry us, and if there was a perfect person out there, he or she would have his or her pick of anyone, right? Now, no one said settle and be miserable or be single and happy, but rather (essentially) settle and come what may, or be single and come what may (and "HOPEFULLY be happy" was included). So, do you remain single and hopefully be happy (but come what may) or do you settle and come what may? And at what point do you settle for someone less than perfect (aka, a member of the human race)?
This is Tiffani! I am married but I just wanted to comment on this! I would say NEVER settle! If you think you are settling, then it is time to move on! Settling will not only affect your happiness, but it affects your spouse, and your children! Marriage is the most important decision you make and affects generations after you! But you also need to remember that no one is perfect! So, there may be little things that bother you about that person, but they also have little pet peeves about you. Get over those things and be happy! But, if you are going into marriage thinking that you really need to change something big about them to be happy, then it is probably time to move on to someone else! You can find someone that compliments you perfectly but you are never going to find any perfect person! So that is when you settle, for a person that you know is perfect for you! My husband is not perfect and I am FAR from perfect but we are so perfect together that we knew it was right! Now, I am happily married but I would have died single than married someone I felt I settled for!
AMEN AMEN AMEN TIFFANI LOL! It isn't that they are perfect, it is that they are perfect for you! that compliments you and you him/her and that you want to spend forever with and don't sit and wonder if someone more fitted to/better for you would have come along. I want to marry someone that I never want to live without and know that I would never want anyone else. In my definition settling is when you allow yourself to have less than the above, and I would rather die single.
To "settle down" is not the same as to "settle." I've heard it said that you marry someone whose faults you can live with--and who can live with your faults, too. I think you can expect to work and make sacrifices for a marriage, recognizing that just because it doesn't come strewn with daily rose petals, it isn't necessarily headed for disaster. And yes, you shouldn't let "what if I can do better" nag you into disregarding the good that is in front of your face. But settling is something else entirely. To me, settling involves a relationship where shared, fundamental values, goals, and _mutual_ help are missing. If it's that or singlehood, I'll stay single.