Tuesday, March 24, 2009

2nd Dates?

K so lets say you've been on your "first" date with a guy. Do guys expect or want the girl to call them for a second date or do they like to take the initiative? And, if they like to take the initiative how long do they usually wait to do so before we females can safely assume they aren't interested? Also, how do guys feel about girls paying? really.


  1. A first date is kind of a get-to-know-you and see-if-there-is-potential-interest sort of a date. If a guy doesn't call back for a second date it probably just means that he doesn't think you are interested or he doesn't feel like there is potential for a relationship. Of course, don't let that get you down. I see relationships like pieces of a puzzle. It's not a matter of people being good enough, etc, so much as it is about finding two pieces that fit. So, if a guy doesn't call you back for a second date, I would probably just let it slide. The important thing to remember is to let the guy know that you are interested while you are on the first date, and that will increase your chances of a second date.
    Now, if the guy asks you out on a second date, it either means that he is interested, or that he thinks there might be potential and he wants to get to know you better. At this point, I think it's ok to ask a guy out if you are interested. In fact, I would say that it's recommended. Obviously, don't ask him out while you are on the second date, but rather wait until afterward and give him a call a day or two later. When you ask the guy out on a date it confirms that you are interested, it's very flattering, and it denotes confidence. In the event that you ask a guy out, you should expect to pay for the date, but feel free to plan something inexpensive. Guys won't care how much you spend on them so much as if they have a good time, though a well-planned date can go a long way to say something about you.
    In review: Feel free to ask a guy out for a first date. If a guy asks you out for a first date, but not a second, I would generally recommend not asking him out. If he decided that he's not really interested and you ask him out, it may be awkward, though it's your call! Also, asking a guy out for a third date is a great idea.

  2. For a second date I will always take the initiative to ask, if the first date went well, and I am still interested to get to know the girl better after the first date and see where things go. If I am very interested then I usually ask her out again at the end of the first date. If I want to think about it a bit then I'll give it a few days to think about it. Sometimes a little time helps me realize if I really am interested. If you haven't heard back after about two weeks it's probably safe to assume you won't. Less than that might just be too much other stuff going on, some of us are juggling a lot between work, school, family, and personal goals.

    Having been raised with more traditional values than what I see most other guys having these days, I usually prefer to pay for everything all the time if I did the asking out. However I'm not opposed to letting her pay if she were to ask me out, but that hasn't really happened yet.

    It would be wise to not offer to pay if you don't really intend to. It's not a kind gesture if you're just going to get offended when the guy does take you up on it.